Sacred Journeys: October 2012

We are now less than three short months away from the return to zero point, the end of the Mayan calendar: the alignment with the centre of our galaxy.

Welcome to the Nanosecond. Is it fast and intense enough for you? For me personally, the last few months have been like spiritual boot camp. One minute I am truly impressed by how quickly things are manifesting for me, and the next I am heading outside to the river to shed a few tears in order to release the pressure of feeling maxed-out. To survive the speed and intensity of the experiences presenting themselves of late, I started becoming very focussed on what each experience was teaching me about myself, and the health of my relationship with authenticity. For example, when life came up and seemed to knock the wind out of me, again and again, I became aware of how I was responding. Initially, my first response was shock and retreat, but increasingly, each event was navigated from the director’s seat, where self-love steered the experience.

The speed of life these days is enabling us to also sort through and heal things at a tremendous speed, if we so choose.

I also noticed how often there was a similar thread through all my experiences. A wound, in fact, was re-appearing in different forms so that I could figure out how to shift and heal it. I am writing ‘wound,’ but it is like a distortion in one’s energy field that needs fixing. Part of the journey right now, in the nanosecond, is about maximizing our individual light, and carrying that into the new world. When we are floating around, high as kites from the love filling our sails, we’ll know we’ve cleared our wounds. Apparently I’m not quite there, but certainly the wonderful moments are longer and more sustaining. I can seek out that feeling while the dense and intense experiences are playing themselves out. The higher ground is the destination, and how I get there is the teaching journey. No doubt this is going on for all of us to some degree right now, and the journey is one of deepening self-love.

Boot camp is showing me that I have been running some old tapes, old stories. When I run them, I make them happen again and again, because I am a co-creator. And as I fill with light, integrity, and authenticity my manifestations become more powerful. But when you get hit with a sucker punch it is hard to believe you created it if you can clearly point to an outside source of the action. It is true, you are not responsible for the beliefs of whomever or whatever is throwing the punch. That is definitely their story, but some part of their story is illuminating a similar story in you.

An easy example: At this stage in my life, I recognize my gift is to see the best in people. When I am loving and supportive, giving them a lot of energy, but find myself rejected and slandered, my inner teenager might feel hurt and rejected, my ‘adult’ might confront them for what seems unfair, my inner ‘therapist’ would say it was their ‘stuff.’ The wound is not ‘being rejected.’ The wound is believing that I ‘needed’ someone outside of myself to love and approve of me. That is the wound that is preventing me from staying authentic; from knowing I am the source of the love and approval that I seek, not someone outside of me. This is an old story we were raised with, where god is outside of us, rather than within our cells. As long as one is dependent on the approval of others, one is leaking vital energy. That energy needs, instead, to be nurtured and focused on being the source of the light and love we all ‘seek.’ Boot camp this fall is about giving up feeling ‘rejected,’ ‘disadvantaged’ or whatever it might be. We have to quit it, like giving up smoking.  As soon as the next swing comes, it means stepping back into neutral, breathing into infinity, and asking what would love do now. Am I running any old stories, old dramas ? How do I want this to work out, resolve itself? It starts to shift right away.

After a series of exhausting and overwhelming confrontations with my wound(s) recently, I took a little break to clear my head and heart, and ‘quit’ the dramas that still lingered. I headed, with a friend, up the St Lawrence to Tadoussac, Quebec to hang with the whales. Highly recommended – being near eight Blue Whales and 23 Belugas in a zodiac! I breathed in the beauty of the world around me, filled with gratitude for the moment. I reminded myself who I was, a being who worked with light, and went straight to the source of that light and felt it fill my being.

When I returned, life was still ‘happening,’ and one morning I was overcome with despair at what was required of me and the universe to make things work. So I breathed in the whales. Calm and full again, I decided to send an “I love you” email, in giant red letters, to a few friends. Within the hour, miracles began happening. By the end of the day I had arms in the air cheering. Everything was working out.

I’m sharing this to let you know that you are not even remotely alone. We are all feeling full in the nanosecond as we are training ourselves to be flying high on love… by next spring. I’m happy to be training for that eventuality!

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