I have just this moment had a fun encounter with a hummingbird wanting to drink from my brightly coloured shirt. He pulled back a foot to observe me and attempted it again, but I giggled, and he went back a pace to observe, and this time looked the giggling flower in the eye and I smiled back. Earlier today I had another unexpected encounter with nature. Kayaking up my now familiar river, I reached a wetland usually full of red-winged blackbirds in the rushes, turtles sunning on logs and a beaver castle of some repute, but the rain this year had rendered it unrecognizable. My usual open water paths were now grown in, and I found myself following a small opening in the grass that drew me deep into the new growth, with rushes pressing against the sides of the kayak. I imagined a moose making the winding path (or crocodiles), and after twenty minutes and no sense of open water from my vantage point, I found myself laughing at how trusting and unfazed I was by my situation (no turning around!). What I also noticed was how it was not for a moment a predicament, but only a happy adventure. Now, sitting safe at home by my apple tree, heavy with fruit, I am thinking about how my generally relaxed attitude is in part an expression of the fruit I too am bearing.
The real harvest this year seems to be who I am as a result of my journey since the last fall equinox. What a wild ride it has been when I look back at what I was focused on and how I ‘knew’ myself this time last year, compared to the person writing these words. A quick list might read: I feel like my core has moved inside; my inner guidance feels re-calibrated; my tentacles reach farther; I feel both neutral and very present; old doubts and fears are no longer hot-wired into my autonomic nervous system.
It is so nice to list them like that and see that all of it is true. This last year has been a slog, full of great challenges and disappointments. All of which were stressful and could have easily put me in a place of fear. But the challenges themselves, seemed divinely designed to offer me insights into the doubts and fears I was dragging around with me, that needed flushing out. Choosing to be positive and brave is great, but you need to actually embody it as a natural state of being and that can require lots of practical experience to hot-wire living each moment without fear and full of love.
Love was also in large amounts last year, the supportive kind, as well as the collective kind. World meditations are noticeably very powerful now, and I loved feeling the blast of light that we are co-creating together. I walk around the house and the grocery store feeling the light from the centre of the cosmos shooting through me into the earth and the earth’s energy zooming right back up and out to the centre of the cosmos. I feel like a lightening rod, grounded in the stars and stones alike.
Perhaps the harvest for each of us has also been about learning to negotiate these waves of opportunity to detox or clear old beliefs, followed by rest as we adjust to the lighter frequencies. Then we have another round. Each opportunity spirals us further along into a new now moment, where we realize we are fuller and more ourselves than we were before, somehow. We stand at the bow, pressed up against the horizon, fearlessly choosing each moment, forging a new day, living in a new way.
I think we will find this equinox that, not only are each of us less willing to be dragged down by personal bad self-esteem habits, we are also collectively less willing to ignore the bad habits of governments, corporations and religious institutions. Just today there was happy news that Wall Street is losing faith in the power and money of GMO’s and big investment firms are selling their Monsanto stock. .
I am glad my personal harvest has been good, because my vegetable garden this year was a bust. Broke all the rules of gardening, like planting seeds just after the full moon, letting the weeds win, letting the rain be in charge of watering, using hay instead of straw. Never mind, it was a year for magnificent flowers and fruit. The harvest of herbs was also incredible this year, so my tea company is now selling artisan loose. Can I tell you how happy this makes me, knowing that the ‘average’ consumer (none of us are average but you know what I mean) can support us offering loose tea. It has always been our dream, and now the world has changed and our dreams are coming true. For all of us this coming year, dreams are coming true. Dream big. Happy Equinox.